Let’s talk about vanity producers. You know the ones—they’re full of big ideas, sparkly promises, and absolutely no budget. These wannabe impresarios rely on performers to fill their line-ups while skimping on pay and production quality, and they’re not just bad for your wallet—they’re bad for your reputation and the entire burlesque industry.
But there’s another reason these producers survive: performers too eager to say “yes.” They prey on those desperate for stage time or obsessed with appearing busy. Vanity producers and ego-driven performers are a match made in hell, and together, they’re dragging us all down. Let’s unpack this mess.
What is a Vanity Producer?
A vanity producer is someone who runs shows not because they want to create something fabulous, but because they want to look fabulous. Their motivations range from ego to cluelessness, but their shows tend to have one thing in common:
- No Budget: They promise big and deliver tiny, expecting performers to work for “exposure” or token fees. Worse yet photos or video but those folks arent paid and it shows.
- Poor Planning: Their events are often chaotic, poorly marketed, and held in less-than-ideal venues.
- Reliance on Desperate Performers: They bank on performers willing to undervalue themselves just to say, “Look, I’m booked!”
Why Vanity Producers Are Bad for Business
- They Devalue Your Art
When vanity producers throw together bargain-bin shows with underpaid or unpaid performers, they teach audiences that burlesque is a cheap thrill. This damages the reputation of the art form and makes it harder for legitimate producers to charge fair ticket prices or pay performers properly.
If you say yes to these gigs, you’re complicit in telling the world your work isn’t worth much. Harsh? Yes. True? Also yes.
- Ego Doesn’t Pay the Bills
Let’s be real: performers who say yes to these gigs often do it because they’re chasing the high of being on stage, even when it’s not worth their time or effort. But ask yourself: is this about your career or your ego?
Performing for free—or for a pittance—just to be seen as “successful” doesn’t pay your rent, fund your costumes, or help you grow. In fact, it sends a signal to producers (and your peers) that you’re willing to settle for less.
- The Quality is Terrible (And You’re Part of It)
Vanity shows often have:
- Shoddy lighting and sound.
- Half-empty venues because no one bothered to promote the event properly.
- Audiences expecting a burlesque masterpiece but getting a chaotic mess.
When you perform at these events, you’re lending your name and talent to a production that reflects badly on you. Even if your act is flawless, the audience will associate you with the overall quality of the show.
- They Drain the Industry
Vanity producers don’t just devalue performers—they weaken the industry.
- Other producers who do budget properly find it harder to compete.
- Performers burn out after working for little to nothing.
- Audiences lose interest after attending low-quality shows.
Burlesque thrives when we hold ourselves and our peers to high standards. Vanity shows lower the bar for everyone.
Why Performers Say Yes (and Why They Shouldn’t)
Vanity producers wouldn’t exist without performers eager to take their calls. Here’s why some say yes:
- Fear of Missing Out: They think turning down gigs will make them “invisible” in the scene.
- Ego Over Strategy: They’d rather post about being booked than think critically about whether the gig is worth it.
- Naivety: Newer performers may not realise the damage these gigs can do to their reputation and finances.
But saying yes to every offer isn’t a sign of success—it’s a sign of desperation. True professionals know their worth and turn down gigs that don’t align with their goals or values.
How to Spot a Vanity Producer
Learn to identify the glitter-covered red flags:
- No Pay or Laughable Fees: “Ticket sales will cover your fee!” is producer-speak for, “You probably won’t get paid.”
- No Contract or Agreement: A professional producer always puts things in writing.
- Vague Promises: “It’s great exposure!” or “This will lead to more gigs!” means they’re not offering real compensation.
- Lack of Organisation: Scattered emails, unclear schedules, and last-minute changes scream “amateur hour.”
How to Protect Yourself
- Set a Minimum Fee
Decide what your time, talent, and effort are worth—and stick to it. In the UK, £150–£200 per act is a reasonable starting point for professionals. - Learn to Say No
Turning down a vanity gig isn’t just about protecting yourself—it’s about raising standards for the whole industry. Decline politely but firmly, and don’t be afraid to educate them on why performers deserve fair pay. - Focus on Quality, Not Quantity
Performing in one well-produced show is far more valuable than doing five vanity gigs. Quality gigs build your reputation and lead to better opportunities.
Why Supporting Real Producers is Key
Professional producers budget properly, pay performers fairly, and create shows that elevate the art of burlesque. By working with them, you:
- Grow your career in a sustainable way.
- Help raise the bar for the entire industry.
- Build a network of professionals who respect your work.
Final Word: Glitter Isn’t Everything
Vanity producers thrive on performers who are too eager to be seen as “successful” without asking what success really means. True success isn’t about how many gigs you do—it’s about the quality of your work, the respect you command, and the standards you uphold.
So the next time a vanity producer slides into your DMs with promises of exposure and a cut of the door, take a deep breath, channel your inner diva, and remind yourself: You’re worth more than that. Because you are. 💋
