I have been emailed from year dot wanting help on how to get started. So I have collated all the questions I could find and decided a few pointers will help:
- When choosing your name, check what is already out there. Check what is common. You have the internet so no one should have to ‘do’ this for you. Own that name choice. No you cant have similar sounding names to the point its simply making Kisses into Kiss.
- Dont immediately make a Facebook page and expect everyone to instantly like it. Work hard on creating a more organic trickle of ‘likes’ to it. Use it effectively and post photos and such like. We will soon follow.
- Dont have the wool pulled over your eyes by promoters claiming to offer you shows for ‘exposure’ but no pay. Thats shit. Unless it is Dita Von Teese herself or a Led Zepplin reform kick that twat to the kerb. The only exposure that will happen is your tits out on stage.
- Wait….Khandie. They are offering videos and photos. Great. Do you get promotional rights on those images? Do you get the video file to post on your own youtube/vimeo chanel? I mean what happens if they delete it? Or some troll attacks it? Are those images shit hot? Are they going to be carefully edited?
- Door split shows – only pay if they are promoted well and even then it tends to be low. You should claim at least travel and most legit promoters will let you know how the profit is shared and with whom.
- Dressing rooms can be tense. Dont expect much conversation from some performers but also dont be intimidated. Have a good banter but also keep ya shit to your suitcase/area. We dont want to mix up costumes, lose items or fall over things any more than you do.
- Reply to emails like a professional. Text speak should NEVER be in an email. When a promoter wants something you damn well reply with it. No one wants to chase you like a child.
- Dont be afraid to speak up for yourself. So many new burlesque performers worry about speaking out. Dont. Stand up for yourself and be heard.
- Dont ever think you are no less important than the headliner. EVER! Nor should you be made to feel so.
- Newbie is a banned term for me. You are a fledgling: going to grow and spread you burly wings.
- Questions: by all means ask them but like most of us, try the internet first. If one more person asks me where they can buy rhinestones I may scream.
- Read up on burlesque history and websites. They are hundreds so you cant miss them. Just read a few articles every now and then.
- Be aware you are entering a highly saturated market where you may not be picked for every show you apply for and your acts may not be suitable. But thats cool, means there are more shows so the likelihood of being booked is higher.
- Invest in costumes if you are serious about performing. Invest in skill classes.
- Dont let burlesque be all consuming. Take time out.
- Dont bleat about not being booked or retiring. No one really cares and most are annoyed by it. By all means should a headliner step down we all will miss em but I see performers retiring every week and then suddenly they are back. Spanks of attention seeking.
- Dont be scared to ask for payment. If there is a ticketed event, someone is profiting from it.
- Invoices! Use them.
- Contracts! Use them.
- Insurance! Get it.
- Enjoy it. For some of us it is our job but for most it is our heartbeat also.
