NB this is only mildly burlesque related and I hate to say it, please take caution when reading. There are deliberately no photos with this article. As a silent protest of sorts. The article explains.
It is with one single letter that changes those words: Morality and Mortality and yet today and forever more I feel they are linked. Whether we are talking about the still raw and vile actions of one person in Manchester taking lives that were not for the taking (if there ever is such a thing) or when a photographer sells images of a deceased loved one. Morality and Mortality are linked. Where do they separate, work together and change one another?
What is Mortality?
Lets see what the old dictionary states:
mortality
noun
1. the state of being subject to death.
“the work is increasingly haunted by thoughts of mortality”
synonyms: impermanence, temporality, transience, ephemerality, impermanency, perishability; More
2. death, especially on a large scale.
“the causes of mortality among infants and young children”
synonyms: death, loss of life, dying
“the causes of mortality among infants and young children”
What is Morality?
The dictionary is pretty self explanatory…
morality
noun
principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behaviour.
“the matter boiled down to simple morality: innocent prisoners ought to be freed”
synonyms: ethics, rights and wrongs, correctness, ethicality More
a particular system of values and principles of conduct.
plural noun: moralities
“a bourgeois morality”
the extent to which an action is right or wrong.
“the issue of the morality of the possession of nuclear weapons”
Note that first line: distinction between right and wrong.
Now pull up a chair and lets discuss something pretty hard.
One of our own burlesque darlings passed away. I wont mention her name, it has been bounded about by many and her passing is recent. I would also like to note that the family and close friends are aware of my doing this. So lets begin.
Your daughter passes away suddenly and sadly the police are involved. You and your entire family are devastated. You are in mourning. You are sent a link to a newspaper non-lovingly nicknamed The Daily Fail. There, in an article are images of your daughter in lingerie performing burlesque. You are proud of your daughter but your heart breaks.
Why?
Apart from the obvious I mean…because you had asked the photographer in question NOT to share those images of your daughter, despite assurances from him they were not going to be sent. As it turns out, they were not only sent but sold effectively to the newspaper and another one besides.
Some have said this is a mistake on the photographer’s part. An honest and badly judged mistake.
Shall we check the dictionary on mistake?
mistake
noun
1. an act or judgement that is misguided or wrong.
“coming here was a mistake”
synonyms: error, fault, inaccuracy, omission, slip, blunder, miscalculation, misunderstanding, flaw, oversight, misinterpretation, fallacy, gaffe, faux pas, solecism, misapprehension, misconception, misreading;verb
1.be wrong about.
“because I was inexperienced I mistook the nature of our relationship”
synonyms: misunderstand, misinterpret, get wrong, put a wrong interpretation on, misconstrue, misapprehend, misread, miss, take amiss.
An act that is misguided….So it would be fair if not literal to say supplying those images was no mistake. The guidance was given: do not send those images. Yet they were sent. So there is no mistake. It would appear to be an action that was deliberate. I mean seeking out the right images, attaching them, signing the agreement (yes that was signed too…cant be a mistake that was signed…you either do or do not) and then sent. Told not to send…and then you send anyway. That is not a mistake. That is ignoring the wishes of a grieving family. For what end?!….read on.
Burlesque is a self governed community on the most part. We have groups and Big Sisters/Brothers to help guide and nurture careers. We are determined to be seen as more than a performer, more than a expenditure to a promoter and yet this week, burlesque and greed it would appear went hand in hand and skipped along the byline of a newspaper that is not held in the highest regard if only not by myself. This single act of what appears to be greed or perhaps some desire to appear popular or needed…Promoting your own show in what appears to be an obituary for a beautiful soul….Grim Reaper/Ghoul esque. To claim it was naivety on the photographer’s part, I personally do not buy it. Naivety does not get you attaching an image to send to the press. Naivety does not make you sign a contract or agreement. It is something else….something entirely different.
One of our own is being used to the advantage of others. She is being taken advantage of in death. Something as burlesque performers we often face (as do most performers) in life. Here her silent voice will be heard loud. I will state that this is not acceptable. Lessons need to be learnt. Apologies need to be made. However an apology does not excuse ignoring a family’s request to respect their mourning.
Where is the morality in taking advantage of this woman’s mortality?
I’d like to thank you for writing such a fabulous piece. It is important these issues are bought to light and I know Blondie would have appreciated it.
I knew Blondie well, as did many others in the burlesque community, as a performer she was beautiful, a pleasure to watch and so elegant. Blondie loved a good feather fan dance and performing bought her so so much joy, you could see it in her smile up on stage how much she enjoyed what she did. As a friend she bought such a positive energy and raised spirits of everyone around her. A beautiful human being inside and out and a girl many of us are missing so dearly.
The pictures in question did not represent her at all and it makes me sad her memory has been tainted by these images. I’m saddened that even after requesting these images weren’t sent to newspapers, they were and subsequently were published. Blondie did not like these images. I remember he conversation well – as she had paid for the images and I gave her advice to never ever pay for images without seeing them first or if they would help her career, she said she wish she hadn’t as there was only one she thought was half usable anyway! I remember the conversation well, and I can not bare the think it is these images now that the world will see.
If you want to remember Blondie, please visit her Facebook page and see the beautiful images she so proudly shared. The images do not capture her essence at all.
Blondie, we miss you. Beyond belief. As a lover of selfies and one of the most beautiful women I know – I will never stop ensuring you’re remembered the way you should be. We love you. Beyond all words.
Thank you so much for replyin Cerise. I know you are the spokesperson for the family right now during this utterly horrific time.
For those wanting Blondie’s facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/BlondieValentine/
You lady sum this up so well. Thank you
Its a poor attempt to convey the issues of this situation has brought up.
Well said