I have been in this burlesque world for many a year now. Not wishing to date myself I will say I am sure I will be eligible for some sort of pensioner card at some point. HA!
In my years performing I often find a fledgling performer (I hate the term ‘newbie’) coming for advice. Here is my list of do/do nots and who gives a hoot.
- Your name – choose wisely and carefully. Dont tread on toes of other performers. Similar is almost excusable but dont do Candy Kiss or Candy X because I will send a shit storm your way. Take note lady in Blackpool who tried that one.
- Dont fret if you are first on. Its the hardest slot to do EVER and never let anyone treat you like a twat for doing it. You are the scene setter, the mood creater and the ice breaker for the show. Be proud.
- You will feel overlooked. Burlesque is saturated and even though I have been here a long time, I sometimes wonder if I am being booked enough (my diary is manic so I must be) or if I am seen as a good contender. It happens. Dont let it fester inside. Just be sure you are rehearsing and updating people with your skills.
- Money. Being paid to perform is great. However if you routinely perform for free you are effectively putting money down the drain or paying to perform, whilst in turn lining someone elses pockets. If you get GOOD photos and GOOD video then perhaps its ok but think before you accept.
- Money pt2. Dont be afraid to ask for expenses but be sure to invoice and keep receipts. Tax men come a knocking.
- Costuming. Ann Summers wont cut it in the professional circuit. Customise. Customise.
- Dressing rooms are a communal area. Dont be a twat. Enjoy your time but limit the space you take up where possible. Just because you are the headliner doesnt mean you can hog the mirrors.
- Skills. You learnt a new skill? Well done. Dont immediately add it to EVERY routine you have. Its silly and ruins the wow factor.
- Bitching – people bitch. Get over it. Horrid to say it but those who bitch are not working hard enough. Too busy working = too busy to bitch.
- Copying – originality is hard sometimes. Just stand firm and perfect your act. Make yours the best.
- Castings – pay attention to the requirements of the casting. No one wants to hear: if I was closer I’d apply, if I was a blonde I would apply. Its tedious. Its annoying. Stop it.
- Thank you. Its two words. Say it. Mean it. From crew to the woman holding the door open to you.
- Invoices – send INVOICES. Properly laid out ones. Have them with you. Professionalism is a very loud voice in what is often an amateur market.
- Contracts – use them. They will save your shiny butt cheeks. I promise.
- Music – dont use the obvious unless its in irony. Please. I cant listen to Feeling Good any more.
- Videos. Do them. Post them. Dont force them down my neck or blast my social media page with them.
That’ll do for now…
Also may I make a suggestion for music prep, make sure you have emailed a copy of the song to the promoter/organiser well in advance also bring a copy on a CD and USB Memory Stick, just in case, make sure it’s the ONLY tracks you need that you bring, and label them clearly (I.E. “Miss xxx – First routine, nothing scarier than being stood in front of an audience only to realise the DJ’s playing the wrong song!