I am still on the come down from Thursday’s opening night of the Bristol Burlesque Festival.
Never have a felt so more alive on stage. After an emotional week of losing such a close friend I will be the first to admit I worried I would be off my A game. I cried on the drive to Bristol as know he purchased a ticket to see me perform. Somewhere in the audience was an empty space my friend should be standing laughing and watching me. My heart was hurting and it has been since he left. The thought of taking to the stage and not seeing him looking back up at me… I didnt know if I could perform.
Before hitting the stage I said a quiet prayer (not to God or anyone) but my own personal mantra prayer. I didnt want to screw up or cry on stage. I wanted to be professional and be the ‘Khandie’ people know.
The moment the first band started to play, the moment I heard the music, the moment I realised I was for the first time ever allowed to have 100% free reign to free style my dance on stage, I seized the moment. And boy did I let it go. I felt a charge of energy. I felt amazing. I felt like the whole pain and tears of the last week disappeared with ever hip grind, every thrust and shimmy.
The second band were buzzing just as much if not more than the first and somewhere came from within me, a bigger surge of energy. I went mad on stage and came away from the stage faint, panting and prouder than I have ever been. Somewhere in place Paulie is right now, I know if he saw me he was proud. But more importantly I was proud of myself.
Thank you Bristol Burlesque Festival. It was amazing. You were amazing.
