It would be amiss of me to say I have this balance down. I can almost guarantee that when I am maxed out with performing, my love life suffers immensely. More than I wish to admit to, I am mostly single when my stage life kicks up a notch. It is NOT a concious decision but it seems like most of us, I still struggle at times to find a balance.
Being a burlesque performer or a creative in general can mean you are spending time away from home or nose deep in research or rehearsals. You are mostly performing on the nights other people are wanting to go out: weekends. We showgirls tend to have our weekends in the week. And sadly that can mean we miss out on so much downtime with mates.
As I have grown within the community I have worked out how to diary manage a lot more and that means I am pretty strict on what I can/wont do. I have amazing mates who know that unless they call me ahead of time (sometimes months) I cant attend every event they have. Sure I try and make weddings, parties etc but I will hold my hands up and admit that I once missed a mate’s wedding because I had already signed a contract to shoot a movie. Thankfully she forgave me. Sorry Kate!
Partners can sometimes get annoyed with us performers, especially if they have a more mainstream work life. Not everyone can grasp the madness of showlife. THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY ARE HORRIBLE FOR NOT GETTING IT! It takes time and a true understanding to really get the efforts we put into stage performances. However the guilt I felt as I saw relationships grumble about me as I was boarding another plane or away another night. One boyfriend gave me a ultimatium of go on tour in Australia or lose him forever. I boarded that flight. Yes my heart was very heavy but pretty soon jetlag was my bigger concern. Sometimes people are just only meant to be with us a short time to teach us what we dont want or what we really need.
Do not for one moment believe I am a cold hearted wench. I have openly had my heart broken. One that hurt so deep I threw myself so much into burlesque and performances I actually had a mate ring another to ask if I was still alive. I find sanctuary under those stage lights and for a few moments I am not crying myself to sleep or raiding the freezer for ice cream.
However sometimes you do need to remind yourself of that love and life is also the fuel for your passion. Dont forget the life off the stage as it is that which can drive us more. Inspiration pours into our stage presence from our other worlds. Let them clash, swim about inside one another and breath life into each other. If it doesnt work out, dont see it as a failure. Its a step to another sense of happiness down the line x
