Anyway you can see the whole interview via the Bucks Herald site here: KHANDIE INTERVIEW.

Thank you to Baron and Nils at the Immortal Eye Photographic Studio for allowing us to fluff our feathers.

1. arriving late without prior notification – we all can run late at the best of times and I know its annoying but nothing stops you from calling ahead and letting a promoter know! I have been known to bump a performers first act off the bill as she arrived to late to perform it. Her fee was affected too. Had she called ahead I would have probably been able to alter the running order. Contracts are signed for reason and can be enforced.
2. not researching your name - burlesque is a small community and it does not bode well if you fail to find a unique name. If the one you like is taken I wouldnt even suggest using something very similar as this can cause issues. Kandy Kisses existed a wee while ago…not now. You should refrain from composites of well known performer names. You need to stand out in this business.
3. being rude to fellow performers – rudeness is NEVER needed. You are at your workplace therefore playground politics can take a hike! Also who would want to work with someone they dont like in the future.
4. expecting waiter service – no one likes a diva so dont expect people to run after you just because you cant be bothered or are running late. Help is often offered but should never be demanded ever!
5. mirror hogging – so what if there is one mirror in the dressing room. Its not yours exclusively.  You need to be sharing and caring…no hogging! A bad dressing room sharer is a twat. Sorry but you are.
6. Suitcases - so you have a huge suitcase, doesn’t mean I should have to tippy-toe about it. Place it out of the way. If that means outside the room then so be it. Dressing rooms are small so dont add to the clutter.
7. borrowing – so we all need to borrow items from time to time…but that should never be taken as granted. Always ask and return immediately. Taking something without permission is stealing.
8. correspondence – if you are emailed about a gig or something else, be sure to reply even if its to say no thank you. You often make a first impression via those emails so dont be a twat about it ok!?
9. drinking alcohol – never be drunk at a gig or at least prior to performing. You are at work. Not only do you come across as unprofessional you could also be voiding your insurance.
10. fail to rehearse –  you are a business so you need to train to stay worthwhile. That means putting the time in. Nothing worse than an audience who feel they have paid good money to see something below par.
11. act research – you should never intentionally copy another persons routine. Research is key. If you wish to pay homage to another performer then you should really approach that performer to ask their permission.
12. food - no one says you cant eat backstage just think about what you are eating. Stinky food isnt pleasant in cramped space.
13. Hairspray - if you are going to spray your barnet consider those around you. A cramped dressing room may not be the best placed to lacquer your do.
14. Introductions – introduce yourself to all who you are working with. Its nice and polite and you never know you may get a job out it.
15. Failure to notify – so you are doing a fire breathing element…great but did you tell the venue prior to the night? Or are you pouring water everywhere? Well let me tell you what nothing pisses off a performer more than having to perform on a messy stage. If you are booked for a show make sure you damn well let people know what your act entails. Nothing more annoying or amateur.
16. Lack of insurance - I like to know that the performers I am working with are covered by insurance. Be that the venues insurance or their own but a performer without insurance for such acts as fire breathing etc then get the hell out of my venue.
17. Tax – not everyone feels they should be tax registered but I think like the law does that if you are working (cash in hand or otherwise) then you damn well declare it. If I book a performer I ask them to sign a form stating they are solely responsible for paying for you own tax.
18. Payment – pay promptly but also pay what was agreed. Dont add extra costs because you forgot to add them originally.
19. Photographs - never take photos backstage without permission of those about you. Its not nice to notice that there is a photo of you with your pants off fixing a merkin…if you are taking photos professionally be sure to confirm you have the permission of the performers to sell them. Some have it written into their contracts with the promoter you cant.
20. video – if you take videos of a show, its nice to ask those recorded if they mind them being put up on the internet. Its just rude not to.
21. cancelling – if you need to cancel do so but in plenty of time. That doesnt mean you cancel once contracts are signed because a more local show has come up. Its bad form and very unprofessional.
22. travel – dont ever over charge your travel costs. We know when you do it! Also dont accept a gig that you cant get to. No one wants to see begging tweets/status updates requesting a lift. Talk about unprofessional! Sure you can ask if someone else if going that way for cost sharing but then dont go charge the promoter full costs.
23. Opinions – of course you can have them, but dont claim to be the Don of burlesque and can therefore dictate what is or isnt ‘burlesque’. You come across as a twat. Sorry.
24. backstage buddies – sure we all wanna show off what we do but that doesnt mean inviting all backstage. Let your partner help you bring your suitcase in but dont then offer them a seat in there. Sometimes performers dont mind but dont ever presume. It doesnt make for a friendly backstage area.
25. be nice to newcomers – no one likes being the new kid in class. Dont treat anyone least of newcomers to scene any less than you wish to be treated. Remember they may be new now but soon they could be future legends/show producers.
26. business tactics – if your agency book you a gig its generally frowned upon if you hand over your business card to ‘cut out’ the middle man.
27. bypassing – if you bypass an arranged booking agent and contact the client directly this is consider very rude and can anger the client. Not only that but also annoy the booker as the client will inform them undoubtedly. Dont be a muppet.
28. hush! - not everyone backstage wants to put the world to rights or listen to your life story so hush up every now & then. Sometimes others need quiet before going on stage. I think we are all guilty of this from time to time…I know I am.
29. fees - dont divulge another performer’s fees unless it is in discussion with booking that performer. This is a private matter. If you quote a fee, ask yourself are you honestly worth it?! A newcomer can hardly demand a headliner fee so play nice and dont be annoyed if someone says no or can we negotiate that please.
30. teaching – when it comes to teaching you should know your subject matter. You may have done ballet or jazz for 20 yrs but burlesque is another dance form and entertainment that requires a lot of experience before teaching. AND if you think you are worthy of teaching be prepared for people to research you to make sure you are the right teacher for them. No one wants to pay to ‘learn’ from someone who has 6 months burlesque experience…and MAKE SURE YOU HAVE INSURANCE FOR GOD’S SAKE! Qualifications wouldnt go a miss.
31. experience –  so you have 4 years experience performing burlesque…but is that every week or so performing or is that sporadically over the months/years?! Because if its the latter you DONT have 4 years experience. You are a sporadic performer/hobbyist (for want of a better word…please suggest!) so be honest about it.
32. cvs - get one. Dont lie on it…we will know. Dont make it picture heavy nor email it to us 20 times a year.
33. castings – read them! Dont send an email if you arent suitable. If you want the promoter to have your CV wait until the casting has closed and send it or send it under a clearly labelled header. Adding to the unnecessary backlog of emails will only annoy the recipient.
34. music – nothing will annoy the DJ more at a night than being handed a CD in the wrong format or with loads of tracks on. Copy your music to a CD-R (CD-RWs etc dont work in all machines) with your name, length of track, when to play it and track name. If all you have is an iPod inform the promoter/show producer before hand. They may not have the facility to play it.
35. give thanks – bloody well say thank you to everyone after the show. You dont have to run and thank all the audience but dont leave without saying thank you/good bye to your booker/DJ etc etc. No one wants to work with a rude bugger so dont let it be you.
36. clean up - made a mess backstage? left tit tape backing on the table? Well you best be clearing that up. No one should be left to clean up your mess.

More to be added soon…. feel free to join the twitter debate using hashtag #badburlesqueetiquette

You can purchase two for £12 instead of £17!! (p&p inclusive) One Circus and one headshot print only!

email me with the code FACEBOOK1 via my contacts page here with your address and I will email you an invoice.

Offer ends midnight tonight (GMT)

Winner:

Matty Ford - Khandie Khisses is a whirlwind of intoxicating sexuality & energy, a magnitude of monkey themed maddness, a bonkers blond bonkshelling boobylecious babe, an ppphhhorrrsome beauty,

1st Runner Up

Sugar Sashey - Khandie Khisses is without doubt One of the coolest, hottest and sexiest women about. She’s an inspiration and my confidence idol. She oozes sex appeal and character and is an amazingly encouraging teacher, never putting anyone down and any ‘critiscm’ is constructive. You can’t even hate her cause Shes so nice. AND not only have I met her but I’ve been taught by her. Simply the best x

2nd Runner Up

Adam Obee - Khandie Khisses is everything a burlesque performer should be, with that little added extra which make her stand out from the rest.

Special thank to all the others who entered. If you could email me your addresses I will send out the prizes to you.

Recently a relatively harmless interview was conducted by the local newspaper ‘Bucks Herald’ regarding my forthcoming movie role. You can read the whole article here. Yes probably not the most ground breaking of articles but then its not the most likely of stories for a local newspaper in Buckinghamshire to run. None the less when Andrew Kay approached me about writing such an item he was a lovely man who was professional and had done his research so I was glad to oblige.

Like any performer we advertise our press and media coverage and so I did: Twitter, facebook and on my own blog. Thinking that on the whole it would be well received, I was not and have never been under the illusion that there may not be some bad press. Lets be honest I am never going to be everyone’s cup of tea…I am a preferred coffee drinker anyway. :p

Through the various searches I have automatically sent to me (I recommend it as its a good resource and was recommended to me by some PR people I know). I was surprised to see people discussing the article’s images etc namely the use of the zebra. One person felt the article had ‘so much wrong with it but thats neither here nor there as it is personal opinion and in this world of social media everyone can voice it.

It then emerged after an email from the ‘search engine checks’, that my site had been used alongside the reference ‘she’s big girl’ in response to one person’s comments regarding the article and linking my site. I was surprised to learn this person (a gentleman) runs a consultancy firm specialising in helping people find healthier and happier lives…or so the site said. This man’s tweet does not outright make me to be a bad person; but in his choice of a 140 characters he decided to comment I was a big girl. Yes he is entitled to opinions to and I am mine.

Here it is….my opinion that is.

At first glance there is nothing sinister I suppose but the implication being that perhaps my size is not good or a fault. (remembering this is my opinion) Whilst looking at the man’s site ( as advertised on his twitter account and is therefore representing…) they say in the ‘about’ page they specialise  in helping others find a healthier, happier life but surely that doesnt stand to reason if my size is being used against me. Before anyone kicks off that I am over reacting, since retweeting this comment a number of people have come forward and taken this tweet as an insult. I just wish that instead of simply stopping at my size, this gentleman had ‘dug deeper’ and found that I actually I am more than just a ‘big girl’, ex military for example surely there is something more worthwhile there to comment on?But again this is personal choice.

I hope this man realises this isnt a hate you campaign or anything awful but that as a person who works for such a company striving to make people happier perhaps remarks such as this arent the way forward. It seems rather juvenile and playground. Something not befitting a man who clearly is more worldly experienced/trained etc as he appears to be. We are all guilty of such digs from time to time but lets learn to leave it. Making people feel horrible is not leading to a happier life nor certainly a healthier life. I may not be in peak performance healthwise but walk a mile in my heels with my medical background/past and I will accept the size comment. I know I am bigger than the average actress but am the average UK clothing size which is size 14/16 (As stated in such newspapers as the Daily Mail, the Independent etc). But that is neither here nor there. Big or small is not a deciding factor in my ability as a person. By making a dig at me regardless of who you are, you are insulting a large portion of the population. Just saying. Sadly whether intended or not, this man did not feel the need to direct the relevant tweet at me (instead referring to my website showreel) which is his call but I also know if insult was meant his view is not a lone view. Sadly, welcome to the playground that is the world.

As a burlesque performer I develop a tough shell about myself but what about Joe Average? They hear these comments and are they not hurt by them? I dont think it is fair to judge someone on their size…oh she is skinny therefore lovely etc. Fat, big, skinny, slim etc used to be descriptive words but in today’s society they are being banded about in the form of insults. Being referred to as ‘big’ isnt wht upset me. Its the implication that I am bad because I am big.

I wish you well. And I hope you see this as not me hating you but sticking up for plus size women who are actually the UK average and those who arent. There is nothing wrong with my curves, I work hard, pay taxes and am educated. My curves earn me a living so please allow me to be the way I am and look beyond my clothing size. Oh and a recent health check showed I am pretty healthy bar some minor problems with my skin.

Yes I am aware this could be regarded as a storm in a teacup and undoubtedly this could be true but when you hear women (and men) tell you of people being vile to them about their size; big or small, I felt like addressing the issue and where I stand on it.

EDIT: The same goes for my slimmer friends. You get as much stick as the plus size amongst us so I stand up for you too. Glorian (see comments below) raises a good point! Made me cry. Further edit has been to remove names to stop a witch hunt….or backlash though legally I am informed there cant be as it is all based on facts in the public domain which is wonderful to know…ha!

You will win two signed prints (approx 18cm x13cm) from me plus one of my pin badges.

All you have to do…is complete this sentence how you see fit:

Khandie Khisses is……

The best one will be chosen by me at midnight 2nd Jan 2012. Simply comment below and I will consider you entered. The competition is open to anyone anywhere over the age of 18 years old. Multiple entries allowed.

My decision is final and no substitute or alternative prizes are available

Should you not win but still like to purchase prints you can do so here: PRINTS FOR SALE!

You can listen to the interview here.

I was a jetlagged burlesque artiste so the smut just fell out of my mouth.